Twenty Ten in Retrospect.

It's really weird to think that this time last year I was still in high school- that in one calendar year, I passed from Ignatius to LMU, from Chicago to LA, from yesterday to today.

So, are you excited for the new year? Very much so! What was your favorite thing about this past year? Starting college and realizing that I would be okay, that I could do it. Who was your best friend(s)? Ausrine, McKinley, Caitlin were and are so very important to me, despite losing touch during our first semester of college. I wish I could say we were still closer but at the same time I'm not entirely worried about us, because we're meant to be friends. It's just in the cards. Sooner or later, we'll always come back to each other, even if we have to grow a little separately first. I would also consider my roommate Nicole as a new best friend. This past semester has been amazing, and I know it wouldn't have been half as great without her. Then there's Kathrina, Sara, Gigi and Christine, I am so lucky to have such amazing friends. Did you fall in love this year? No, but there was finally some commotion in my love life. Did you get your heart broken? No, I cried a bit, but my heart wasn't broken because it was still my own. Did you get a new car? No- but I got a Zipcar account, so that's something. Go somewhere exciting? Los Angeles- FOR COLLEGE, HELL YEAH! Did you have a resolution for this year? I honestly could not tell you what it was, I simply don't remember. Did you keep it? Well, probably not. Did you dye your hair? I have never done such a thing. Lose any friends? Grown apart from some, hopefully I haven't lost any though. Make any? My goodness, yes! How much do you think you changed? It's hard to put into words how I've changed but I know I have. What month was your birthday? March. Was it special? I went bowling and had a sleepover with three of my closest friends and it was amazing. How were you in school? Well, senioritis hit. And hit bad. I was done with high school and ready to move on, and then at the end of summer I realized all too suddenly I might not be ready after all. It was terrifying, but I went off to college, and things went all right. And having just seen my grades from my first semester, I'm actually quite pleased. Sure, I could have done a little better in each class, but I feel good. Do anything you regret a lot? Nothing I can think of. Anything you regret NOT doing? I regret not putting myself out there enough, I did so a bit but I'm still working hard to keep meeting new people. Was it a leap year? No siree. What are you most thankful for this year? Family and friends and the ability to go to a college I really love and to study something that I'm passionate about. Did anyone you love die this year? My granny. How many significant others did you have? I have never had a significant other, and although this year brought me a kiss and a little more, it still didn't really bring me someone whom I could share my soul, my heart, and my love with. I wish- probably more than anything at the moment- that I really find a guy in 2011 to have a relationship with. I'm ready, I am so ready. Who are you going to kiss at midnight? No one, absolutely no one most likely. Who do you WANT to kiss at midnight? There is actually someone I can think of, but that name is going to stay in my mind because I am not yet brave or stupid enough to say it aloud. What is your resolution for next year? Live life in the best way that I can, love those around me, maintain a healthy lifestyle, study diligently, explore the world, be kind to others, and so much more. Who’s house are you going to party at? Plans are still up in the air. Going to watch the ball drop on TV? Umm, possibly. Will this year be better than last year? Most definitely.

It wasn't how I pictured having my first drink.

Not at all.

I had just arrived at the party and "jungle juice" was forced into my hand and peer pressured into my mouth. I figured my first sip would come that night, but so soon? Was I ready? I didn't have time to think, it touched my lips, my tongue, scorched its way down my throat.

Tang, the tang was horrible. This was it? This was it.

Q & A.

Where's a boyfriend when you need one?

Updates.

Don't you just wish some people's Facebook statuses were about you?

One pops up on your newsfeed or you check a special someone's page and there it is plain and simple.

Sometimes they turn out to be lyrics- sure, but even then don't you feel like they're still trying to send that message to you?

There is the desire to "like" the status to show that you are aware of it, but then what if it's really not about me.

I can have an overactive imagination and I always thought I liked you more than you cared for me.

Why do you give me false hope? I like you and I'm trying to get over that fact-

but part of me doesn't want to; part of me wants to hold you in my arms and feel your lips on mine.

I can't listen to that part, it will only hold me back.

So, I can't think that your status is about me, I'll have to guess it was about some other girl because you seemed less attached, you probably have moved on.

You know what? Maybe I can too.

Goodbye.

I thought I could do casual, but who was I kidding?

My whole person is designed to become attached, to form bonds and relationships with others.

How did I convince myself he would be any different?

I tricked myself into thinking that I was carefree- but that illusion only lasted about two weeks.

Sooner or later it all comes crashing down, right?

My walls fell and I wanted more, I wanted him.

I have no choice, I have to leave- college and life await, but I let him become apart of my life and I so desperately want him to remain.

He's not perfect and we're not perfect together, but I like us- I'm falling for us.

I thought I could do casual, but who was I kidding?

It was one of those days when you ask, "What just happened?" way too often.

What did just happen?

Finally.

There are butterflies everywhere in my stomach and they are starting to get restlesss.

-Cheers

Title.

Why do I always have the need to categorize or label people and relationships in my life?

Some goals for the rest of the summer:

-try to stop overanalyzing

-go with the flow

-Cheers