As I began peeling the photos off my wall, I had the most surreal feeling of attachment- not to the photos themselves though, but to them being up on my wall; to the sequence I put them in so many months ago; to the 16x9 door room which has been my home for the past several months. The people in the picture feel so distant. High school seems so long ago. LMU is all I know right now, and it carries my heart. Though I cannot wait for summer, I am really unsure of what it will bring. I will return to my city, I know that much. Hopefully, it will be a summer of reconnected friendships, a summer of exploration, a summer of employment, a summer of family, a summer of planning, a summer of fun.

This will be a summer of discovery, and more importantly rediscovery.

I want you to want me.

But clearly, you don't... so I'm done.

It hurts too much, and I'm always left feeling like an idiot.

So, congratulations, you win once again.

If you ever decide to smarten up and stop being so scared, you're going to have to win me back.

I know the decision was probably for the best, but I still miss your arms, your voice, your soul.

Our closeness feels lost, but maybe it will return one day.

And if not, at least we shall have a beautiful friendship.

Tears visited me twice, and knocked at my door twice more.

Today was a trial.

But somehow the day ended with laughter. All is not lost.

I am exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally.

You say everything is fine, but then why does it feel so different?

I have a tendency to over analyze things.

Not a good habit.

I don't want a label...

I just want you.