It's so unusual that this is what I had always wanted, always waited for, but now my wants are different. I can't continue.

I just wish I didn't have to hurt someone else in the process.

I have so many jitters about our first kiss. Butterflies should be banned from my stomach.

I mean, can't we just get it over with?

Then we can move onto the second, and third, and fourth kiss.

Loneliness is really beginning to pervade my love life.

After adding a new name to the list, a sense of emptiness has overwhelmed me. I'm really craving some consistency. Some warmth. Some love.